


Texts and Text Posts

by DangerousCommieSubversive



Series: Prompt Collections from Tumblr [9]
Category: DCU, Marvel
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Meme, Multi, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Other, Prompt Fill, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:41:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5194298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/DangerousCommieSubversive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fills from a brief meme where I requested prompts based on Tumblr text posts and Texts From Last Night</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So for the text post prompt meme, Ardatli asked if I could do something for Young Avengers with [this post](http://clepse.tumblr.com/post/105534194032/kingcheddarxmas-there-have-been-a-lot-of-good), “B/T please (mocking Kate?),” and I think I can do that. ^_^

Billy and Teddy are always laughing about something or other that Kate doesn’t understand, and it’s driving Kate  _crazy._  Road signs, songs on the radio, pieces of statuary. Or one of them will say something, just  _one word,_  and the other one will just  _collapse_  in hysterical giggles.

Finally, they’re all in the car together heading to the mall and Billy’s staring out at the passing scenery in a daydreamy haze and “All Along The Watchtower” comes on the radio, and he sits upright with a worried look on his face and says, “You guys are hearing the same song I’m hearing, right?”

And Teddy just says, “You’re not a toaster.” Like that makes sense. And Billy starts laughing.

“What are you guys even–” Kate can’t help it. “I swear you guys are making these jokes up just to fuck with me. Like, oh god, that blue hat reminds me of a thing, I’m going to laugh for five minutes.”

–

When they get to the mall the first thing Billy and Teddy do is find a blue hat at a kiosk and laugh at it for five minutes.

Kate buries her face in her hands. “I hate you both.”


	2. Thomas Blake, Floyd Lawton, and Jeannette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pyrohydriscence asked: *kicks tumblr* It was SUPPOSED to be for Bad Moon Rising that prompt. (353) I just had a flashback to the three of us in bed and and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON

“You are  _neither,_ ” Jeannette says firmly, and Thomas says, “What? Why not? What?”

Floyd looks thrilled. “ _Finally._ ”

“Because it's  _very_  cold tonight, and you’re the warmest one.” She elbows Thomas until he moves into the center of the bed. “Therefore you get to be our heat source.”

Floyd wraps himself around Thomas from behind and rests his chin on Thomas’ shoulder. “Can’t always be me.”

“But what if I need to get up?” Thomas says plaintively as Jeannette nestles against his chest.

“You’ll live,” she says sleepily as she pulls up the blankets. “Floyd generally does.”

“Yeah, welcome to my life, Tomcat. Christ, you got a space heater hidden in those abs of yours?”


	3. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked: For the meme thing: Please, please, please write me a Nohmmy from "in case nobody told you today, you are good enough." Oh god, please.

The day in court did not go well. The  _lawsuit_  is going very well, Tommy is slowly succeeding in his attempt to wrest at least an admission of  _guilt_  from the former administrators of what he thinks of still as  _his_  juvie. But the  _day_  was  _very_  bad.

He curls up on the couch with his head on Noh-Varr’s knee while Teddy makes a run for takeout and says, “One of the doctors was there today. From the facility. We weren’t supposed to run into each other but we did.”

“Do you need me to kill him for you,  _hala?_ ”

“No. No, he just…he still looks at me like I’m. Like I’m just a  _bad kid._ ”

“You’re not.”

“Are you sure? Because I  _feel_  like a fucking bad kid.”

“I’m sure.” Noh-Varr runs his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “You’re very good. And you work very hard to be so.”

–

Later, Noh-Varr is having one of his rare restless nights, and his tossing and turning get so bad that he manages to wake  _Tommy_  up, which is impressive, because normally Tommy’s the big thrasher.

Tommy wraps his arms around Noh-Varr, pulls him in close, and says, “What’s wrong?”

“Bad dreams.” Noh-Varr presses his face against Tommy’s chest. “I’ve failed so many times. A failure. Can’t save anyone.”

“No. No.” Tommy strokes his back with one hand, finds the kicked-off blankets with the other and pulls them up. “You’re not a failure. You’re a hero. You’re my hero.” He buries his face in Noh-Varr’s hair. “You’re good.”


	4. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (406): sick fucks of a feather flock together
> 
> with Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd, for ducttapefae

The zombie’s head explodes just as David is walking through the room, and he says, “Holy  _shit,_ ” and then, “What are you guys even  _watching?_ ”

“Gross Italian horror movies,” says Tommy, eating a handful of popcorn. “Noh decided he wanted to learn Italian.”

“This is  _much_  more fun than having the entire language downloaded into my brain.” Noh-Varr slouches down a bit and props his feet up on the coffee table. “Humans are inventively disgusting.”

David waits until the next zombie explosion sends dismembered body parts flying all over the screen and then shudders. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Suit yourself. I’m having fun.” Tommy looks over at Noh-Varr. “After we’re done with these we can watch some Tarantino movies, the copies I’ve got have dubs like, like, five languages.”

Noh-Varr raises an eyebrow. “Tarantino movies?”

“Gross movies about bloody vengeance.”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“Hell yes.” Tommy slouches against Noh-Varr’s side and eats some more popcorn. “Sick fucks of a feather flock together.”


	5. Billy Kaplan and Teddy Altman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (916) They were so loud I wrote a sex critique and taped it to his door.
> 
> This request was also from ducttapefae, for Billy Kaplan/Teddy Altman

Teddy stumbles out of bed, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and then stops dead. “Billy, there’s a hole in the wall.”

“Izza…there’s a what?” Billy lifts his head from his nest of sheets and comforter and stares blearily at the wall next to their bed. “Holy shit, Tee, there  _is_  a hole in the wall. Why is there a hole in the wall?”

“I don’t know, I have the worst hangover  _ever._ ” Teddy groans. “Oh…oh god, wait. Wait, I think I put it there. During the…”

“…the…oh my god we had the loudest sex last night. Everyone could probably here us.” Billy drags a pillow over his head. “I’m never getting out of this bed. Don’t come and get me unless there’s a major invasion or something. I can’t deal with seeing them all at breakfast.”

“I would join you but I have to go to the bathroom.” Teddy stares mournfully at the whole in the wall. Then, though, he brightens. “It was good sex, though.”

Billy’s voice is muffled by the pillow. “It  _was_  good sex.”

Teddy sighs cheerfully, then winces, and then shuffles out into the hall.

And pauses.

Billy hears a strange snorting noise. “What. What is it now.”

“There’s a note on the door.”

“Oh god.”

“America left us a full written critique.”

“America doesn’t even sleep with guys.”

“Actually, she has some good suggestions here.”


	6. Daken and Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> manicr asked: Daken/bullseye -- I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
> 
> Trigger warning for drug use

Daken never reads magazines, but he’s reading a magazine. Or not reading, really, but flipping slowly through the pages, staring at the pictures, watching the colors change under his gaze.

He feels warm. He feels the Heat, and that makes him laugh. The Heat drug. The heat of the night. In heat.

He could go out right now and pick someone up and fuck them and then cut them apart and look at the beautiful colors under their skin.

He turns the page. New article. “Super-Crime In New York City: Has The Old Guard Finally Been Defeated?”

Mostly his eyes just skim over the page, he doesn’t care about these people. But then there’s one picture. A bald head, sneering mouth with surprisingly full lips, circles within circles on the forehead.

Who is that?

Daken squints, traces the lines of that face with his fingertips.

 _Bullseye,_  it says underneath the people.  _Missing, presumed dead._

And his mouth says, “Lester,” even though he doesn't  _remember_  wanting to say the name. “Darling.”

He scrabbles around for a pen, circles the sneering face over and over. Bullseye is  _important._  This is  _important._

He can’t be dead. Is he dead?

This is  _important._


	7. Frank Castle and Matt Murdock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (606) “I’m so drunk. Remember me this way.”
> 
> For ladynara, featuring Frank Castle/Matt Murdock

“Why are we always saving each other, choirboy?” Frank scowls, his arm around Matt’s waist as he lugs the other man down the street. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“You do it,” Matt says fuzzily, “because you love me. And I am so drunk. You love me and I’m drunk.”

“ _Why_  are you drunk? You know that’s not safe.”

“Gog…Nogg…Foggy! I was celebrating. With Foggy. A woman bought me a drink. She smelled nice. Foggy  _went home with someone._ I bet he’s getting  _laid._ ” The last is in a stage-whisper that smells like bourbon.

“You have some dangerous weaknesses.” They get to Matt’s apartment building, and Frank looks up the interior stairs. For a moment he despairs of getting Matt to go up them, but then Matt is heading up them himself. He stumbles, and Frank sighs and catches him. “You shouldn’t do this.”

“Just because  _you_  don’t know how to have fun.”

They get into Matt’s apartment, and Frank even manages to get Matt over to his  _bed_  before Matt topples over in a drunken heap and takes Frank with him.

“I’m so drunk,” Matt says cheerfully. “And we’re not fighting. I think that means we should kiss.”

Frank starts struggling to get out from under him. “Matt, you are  _really_  drunk.”


	8. David Alleyne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: David Alleyne + "A bisexual person who isn't in a relationship. All Bi Myself"

“This is fine. This is good.” David stares into his coffee. “I’m ok.”

“You’re a hot mess, is what you are.” America is drinking a massive cup of chai, and the cinnamon scent wafts across the table at him. “Stop beating yourself up.” _  
_

He suppresses a snort. “Easy for you to say, you _have_  a girlfriend. And you’re three years younger than me.”

“Two and a half. Grandpa.” She flashes him a grin. “Maybe you should chill out and stop worrying about  _dating_  someone. I mean, you and Teddy are cool now, and Speedboy–”

“Tommy.”

“–needs some space. And you’re on good terms with Sparky, right?”

“Noriko. Yeah, we talk.”

“So don’t worry about it.” She frowns at him for a moment, then reaches across the table and wipes a fleck of dust off his glasses with her napkin. “Maybe just focus on having friends for now. Not, like, a team, or someone to date. Just friends.”

The corner of his mouth twitches down for a moment, but the idea  _is_  appealing. “I guess I’m still getting the hang of spending so much time out of a team environment.”

“You’re telling me.” She reaches across the table again and bumps her fist gently against his. “This  _liking people_  thing is  _weird._ ”


	9. Noh-Varr and Tommy Shepherd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked: Nohmmy (703: If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction) and Merlin/Bart (304: You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, thats just not cool. Return him)

[Remember,] the text message reads, [your *honest* opinion.]

Tommy rolls his eyes, waits for his phone to buzz again, and downloads the picture.

He stares at it for a few minutes and then texts back, [DAMN. Is that YOURS.]

 _Buzz._  [Yes.]

[It has ridges. Does that mean Teddy has wait no don’t tell me what Teddy has because for one you shouldn’t know and for two I don’t *want* to know.]

[Is is comparable to human standards? Teddy said the genitalia in human pornography isn’t a good basis for comparison.]

Tommy starts typing. [I’m–

Hm.

[Well I’d say–

No, that wouldn’t be the right way to put it either.

[You know, I can’t really tell from just the photo. I’d have to look at it in person. You know, up close.]  _Send._ _  
_

[Should I come over?]

[Yes. Bring lube. I want to do some scientific observation.]


	10. Bart Allen and Merlin Baker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (304) You kidnapped her dog. I don’t care that you and the dog are epic bros, thats just not cool. Return him
> 
> As requested by geoboy-world, featuring Bart Allen and Merlin Baker

“You need to bring Lucky back.”

Bart pouts. “But why? We’re buds! Best friends! Epic bros!” At his side, Lucky barks cheerfully.

Merlin sighs and holds up his phone so that Bart can see the little glowing indicator of five unread text messages. “You can’t just go stealing people’s dogs. It’s not  _cool._ ”

“I didn’t steal him, though. We were hanging out. Weren’t we, Lucky?”

Lucky barks again and licks Bart’s hand.

“Come on, Bart.” Merlin opens his text messages. The latest one is in all caps and reads [MERLIN ANTHONY BAKER YOU GET YOUR BOYFRIEND TO BRING BACK MY GODDAMN DOG RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I’LL HAVE BILLY HEX HIM.] “Kate’s gonna  _kill_  me. And besides, he’s also Clint’s dog, I can’t let you steal my dad’s dog.”

Bart freezes. “Wait, so if Kate and Clint have a dog together then does that mean they’re–”

“Oh my  _god_  no.”


	11. Dick Grayson and Jason Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: I have three pairings, but i wasn't able to find any posts/texts for them. Would you still be able too do them? The pairings are Jamie Reyes/Merlin Baker, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, and Merlin Baker/Jason (who was mentioned in 'Worlds Enough')
> 
> (803) That’s a really terrible idea.
> 
> (734) Awesome I’m gonna do it then, thanks for the input.
> 
> With Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

“Jason, this may be the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“Chill out, Bluebird, it’ll kick ass.”

“I’m pretty sure this is a misuse of our training. This is almost as bad as that time when you insisted we–”

“Dude, nothing's  _ever_  going to be as bad as  _that_  one,  _nobody_  needs a face fulla fear gas when they’re about to get their rocks off.”

“So  _why_  do you want to break into Tim’s apartment and have sex in his bed?”

“My current safehouse got compromised and your place is too far away.”

“And we can’t go to the mansion why?”

“Shits and giggles.” Jason finishes jimmying the lock. “Come on, Dickie-bird, let’s go have some fun.”


	12. Merlin Baker, Jaime Reyes, and Jason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonamouse also requested Merlin Baker/Jaime Reyes and Merlin Baker/Jason (Merlin’s friend from school, who is mentioned in Worlds Enough), and then I found a text to do both at once.
> 
> (630) And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them.

Jason wakes up, looks to his left, looks to his right, and then stares at the ceiling. “My life is amazing.”

Merlin throws an arm over him and burrows into his shoulder. “Why’re you awake, ’s like…morning.”

“Because I just had sex. With you. And  _Blue Beetle._  And everything is awesome.”

“ _Feliz cumpleaños,_  Jason Georgoulakos. Now shuddup, it's  _way_  too early to be awake.” Jaime wiggles down a bit, wraps Jason’s arm around him, and pulls the covers up past the top of his head to hide from the light.

“This is one hell of a way to tell me where you’re always disappearing off to.” Jason grins, still looking dazed.

“We can do it again later, go back to sleep.”


	13. Merlin Baker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last text-post prompt, a few days overdue. geoboy-world asked for something with Merlin Baker based on [this classic](http://geoboy-world.tumblr.com/post/106095635654/officialnatasharomanoff-the-day-i-dont-reblog).

“Ok, team, we have this under control.” Tim is icy calm, Bat-mode locked down, which means he's  _terrified,_  and that’s pretty terrifying in itself. “We’ve got a defensible spot here, I’ve sent a message to Hawkeye to bring in the backup, we can do this. Hulkling, as soon as we’re done with this planning session, you take the front door.”

Teddy nods seriously and cracks his knuckles. “Ready to crack some demon skulls whenever, Red.”

“Thank you.” Tim looks slightly relieved. “Much appreciated.”

Cass frowns. “Where’s Merlin?”

 _“_ Quickdraw is on lookout duty, we should check in with him.”

Billy clears his throat. “Hey, Merlin, what do your elf eyes see?”

There’s a burst of slightly hysterical laughter from somewhere slightly above them in the barn’s loft.

Tim sighs. “Quickdraw, how are we looking?”

The hysterical laughter dies down, and above them Merlin says, “Sexy, but not like we’re trying too hard. Like, sure, we’re trying, but it’s almost effortless.”

“This isn’t really the time for levity.”

“All clear for about a hundred yards out, but I’m seeing some worrying shit past that. Kate better get her ass here with backup  _quick._ ”


End file.
